I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
