I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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