So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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