Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
