i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
