I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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