I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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