He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
