If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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