Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
