Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
