Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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