i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
