You smell like a Billy Joel song
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Randomize
