South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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