I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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