im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Randomize
