She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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