I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
