I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
