I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
