HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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