...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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