A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
