I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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