Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
