it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
