butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
