using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
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