my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
