She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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