we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
