TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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