Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
