Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
