what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
