he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
