Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
