Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize
