My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
