You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
