i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
