Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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