I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Randomize
