Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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