doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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