Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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