Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
