well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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