You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
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